Love certainly is complicated
by jarethsgal2610
Summary: Being abducted on your nineteenth birthday certainly is a TREAT! Sarah secretly writes in a diary to vent out her feelings. this is the story of Sarah's life at the castle. rated T for further suggestive action :) PLEASE REVIEW guys would LOVE some feedback! :D
1. Chapter 1 Riding for life

Week 2.

This is week 2 in Jareths castle. He hardly ever lets me out. I think he expects me to practically beg his goblin king butt, but I will not give in. my name's Sarah, and a week ago I turned 19, was abducted and taken to the goblin king castle, but all in all, it was a great birthday. The "goblin king" likes me. I know that. But he doesn't need to make me feel guilty that I cannot return his feelings. Trust me, I tried to love him, but somehow it always ends with me stalking of to my room and crying my eyes out until I can no more. I sleep like this most nights, knowing that I am a heartless person, which I can't even love a man who loves me so much it hurts. I don't think Jareth knows how I feel, and I sincerely hope he does not get his hands on this diary. I decided to keep this diary so I can vent my feelings out, it feels like the only thing that listens to me is goblins and you, and seriously, goblins don't make very good conversationalists.

Today I kind of snuck out to the stables, again. You see, I love horses, and have been riding all my life, but somehow, Jareth thinks I will break my "fragile body" as he calls it. So what if the other day I came back with a bruise from my hip to my shoulder? As I was saying, I snuck out riding again, and I have been riding Jareths old war horse, going on what the stable boy said. I was looking at all the beautiful horses in the stalls when I saw a secluded stall off the side away from all the other horses. I wandered off and took a peek inside. He was the most beautiful horse I had ever seen. I was perpetually confused as to why he was all alone. I sat on the edge of the fence for a while, I had a few sugar cubes in my pocket that I'd stole from the kitchen, I held them out with my palm facing upwards. The gigantic horse slowly walked over to the edge of the stall and sniffed my hand.

"Come on boy, I won't bite." I reassure him gently. He snuffles up all of them, and looks at me, expecting more, I laugh,

"Sorry but that's it!" I giggle. I gently stoke him on the nose and he leans into my touch, I sadly think it must have been awhile since he was last patted. I wondered who this strange beauty was. I called over one of the stable boys. He was quite good looking actually, with short blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes, he could easily make any girl other than me swoon.

'What's your name boy?' I ask.

"T...t- Tom, ma'm." he stutters.

"Call me Sarah." I smile. "Now what's this old beauty doing all alone?" I ask.

"Well, Sarah, that's Althalos, Jareths war horse, and since there hasn't been a war in over 10 years, most people consider him retired." He says with a sad smile.

"I would like to ride him. Please." I say in my sternest voice I can muster.

"um. I'm not really sure about…. Um… I'll go get your gear!" he says once he glimpses my scowl. He soon returns with all the necessary gear. Tom saddles Althalos and I climb on. I felt a bit nervous about riding a war horse that must have fought many battles, but I trust Althalos. Tom led me into the meadow near the stables, and I was free.

I had never felt the way I felt then, with the wind rushing in my ears, the saddle underneath me, the way I felt was, indescribable. I think Althalos was enjoying it more than I was. He galloped across the meadow like nothing else mattered but the dirt underneath his hooves. All my problems were gone. I didn't have to worry about Jareth, about love,hate, or my family. It was just me and Althalos. Flying, soaring.

I can't quite remember how long I rode for. I could have gone for all day for all I care. But on that ride, I didn't think, and every once in a while, its good not to think.


	2. Chapter 2 Love is a strong word

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."  
― Neil Gaiman, _The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones_

Diary.

He's found out I've been riding. I've gotten away with it for a whole WEEK and he finds out now. I've just come back from probably the biggest fight ever with him. I don't know how he found out but I am genuinely hurt.

Jareth brought up the whole "I love you so much but your ungrateful and don't love me back" thing once again. He just doesn't get the message does he? I was brought here against my will, trapped inside a room that is so bland I feel instantly depressed when I walk in, and forced to attend balls in too tight dresses and pointy shoes. And he expects me to instantly fall in love with his glittery behind. I wish that he would at least try. That he would actually spend time with me instead of being locked up in his study.

About my riding, he simply stated I will not be riding anymore. I lost in then. I didn't even have the strength to argue with him. I just silently nodded as the tears started. He eventually noticed and sighed.

"I will allow you to go riding, but only if I accompany you." He says forcefully.

"But I still want to ride my horse." I say defiantly, hopefully he hasn't figured out what horse I'm riding.

"As you wish." He whispers.

And he was gone. In a sea of glitter. I was left standing alone. As always, I'm alone. It seems that's all I'll ever be…

Jareths P.O.V

Why does she fight against me? She is so ungrateful!

"But maybe, you should spend some time with her, and actually get to know her…" said that voice inside his head, boy how wrong he was to think that voice was gone.

"Maybe, I should spend a little time with her…" he thought. Already he was making plans for a ride in the meadow. Maybe it was time to get the old saddle out…

Diary.

Jareth has asked me to go riding! He said he has made all the plans for my horse to be groomed and taken care of. No mention of Althalos. I am looking forward to the ride. Hopefully I'll get to see tom. Maybe Jareth has finally decided to spend some time with me? I would like too. But if he insists that I have to wear a padded safety suit, I'll have to put my foot down.

I went exploring in the castle the other day. I found the Escher room, but I didn't hang around in there long, to many bad memories. It was shattered into a million fragments, like a broken mirror. All the fragments just drifted around. I slammed the door behind me and hurried away.

I found the kitchens! I introduced myself to the chef. Ella's her name. She really is a nice lady. I think we'll be good friends later on. If there is a later on. I am quite confused as to how long I will be staying here for. Does Jareth intend to keep me here? Like, forever? I certainly hope not! The goblins are nice creatures, but a few are quite nasty, and find great delight in hiding all my things, and when I DO find them, they go on and hide something else. Sometimes I consider complaining to Jareth, but I am not sure he would listen to my ramblings, and he would most likely call me an ungrateful little child. I am an adult! Not a little child he can boss around and do what he pleases with.

Just the other day, I went and visited Jareth in his study. I was simply dying of boredom and had done almost everything in the castle that could appease my boredom. I visited the paintings of Jareths family, I do that quite often, and I do hope I could meet them one day, his mother is a beautiful woman, and his father is a stunning old man. I sat there for a while just watching them, but eventually I grew tiresome of that. I tried my hand at painting in the extensive art room the castle has, but ended up splattered in paint. I tried helping Ella with cooking, but eventually she shooed me away, saying she had no room in the kitchen for "beautiful nitwits who should never cook." So, eventually I decided to go find Jareth. Call me a fool, but sometimes you have to talk to a sane person every once in a while.

So, I started wandering down a corridor. I eventually came to a door, and simple sign was hanging on the door. It read, "Beware, for those who enter are at possible risk of being bogged." I rolled my eyes at this, it sounded SO like something Jareth would say. So, I knocked.

"Come in!" said a bored voice from inside.

"Yep, definitely Jareth." I muttered under my breath as I opened the door. I walked across the threshold and into his study. It really had a homely feel to it you know? There was a fire place crackling near the velvet red couch, and a fur comforter was placed upon it.

Nearby, Jareth had his feet up on his desk. He sat up straighter when he saw me walk in.

"Well Sarah, what a pleasant surprise!" he said gleefully.

"Yes well, I was just bored and I didn't realize you were busy, so I'll just um… leave now." I mumbled, cursing myself for thinking he wouldn't be busy.

"no no! you are a welcome distraction from all this paperwork!" he cries as he gestures to the enormous pile of papers sitting on his desk. "I would love some company right now!" he hinted.

"well, what would you like to do?" I ask him.

"How about we talk about life?" he asked. "tell me about your life sarah, your memories, moments and things you love and dislike, I really would love to know!"

So, he finally decided to get to know me? The real me. Not the fifteen year old girl who was obsessed with fairy tales and glittery goblin kings.

"Well, what have I got to lose?" I asked myself.

And so I told him. Every detail I could remember about my WHOLE life. How I broke my thumb when I was 4 years old, when I got teased in grade 3 about how I still believed in fairytales, how my mother walked out on my father and I when I was just ten, and even the happiest moments I cherish. When Toby's first word he ever spoke was Sarah, when my father and I went to the mall once, and he insisted he buy one of every lolly In JustLollies the shop, just because I broke my arm.

Jareth sat and listened to me the WHOLE time. He fondly smiled when I spoke of Toby, and would laugh at a particular funny story I had to tell. He took on a laughable face when I spoke of my first sweetheart, and I had to chuckle when he turned purple at the mention of my first kiss.

I don't know how long I talked for. But I am pretty sure that I talked all night. Eventually I started mumbling and drifting off into the land of dreams. Jareth chuckled at my sleepy expression. He transported us back to my room, and with a click of his fingers I was in my night gown. He led me to the bed and I clambered in and rolled over. I vaguely remember soft lips being pressed against my forehead, and then I drifted off into a wonderful dream that included dancing, a ballroom, and lots of masks.

Jareth P.O.V

She looked so innocent. Her brunette hair spread across the pillow in a seducing matter but still so innocent. He was in love then. He had known before then, but now he was sure he loved her more than ever. She could never know. He knew she was inexperienced with love and he didn't want to scare her away. Not now, when she was just starting to open up to him. He had to spend more time with her, only then would he be free to say, I love you Sarah.


	3. Chapter 3 Dying for love

"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, and hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."

- Unknown

Diary.

I want out .NOW.

I started all this a few days ago. I yelled and screamed, I smashed everything I could in my room. I sat on the floor and cried. I had had enough of this, this thing that Jareth and I had. It was always complicated. We always fought kissed, made up, and then repeated the cycle.

I wanted to go home. I told Jareth that, but he shook his head and said I was home.

I meant REAL home. The place where you learn to ride your first bicycle, climb trees, make cubby houses, and where your parents put you to bed at night. This isn't home. This is living hell.

Soon my hands were bloody from the glass I had smashed, and I was so frail from starving myself. I refused to eat the castle food. No amount of begging from Jareth helped. He had no power over me. And therefore I think he gave up.

I can't even find the energy to pull myself of the floor. I feel so helpless; nobody can help me in this deep hole of depression I have sunk myself deep into.

I can seriously feel myself dying. Heaven. It will be wonderful when I get there I think. Seeing my Ma and Pa. it's been a while since I have seen them. I hope Jareth will tell my parents. I wouldn't want them going on with life thinking their daughter ran away. Maybe, one day in a different life, I might have learnt to love Ja…..

And there, the quill dropped from Sarah's hand. The diary fell on the floor; why, she didn't even get to finish her sentence. Her words were broken, and Jareth woke from the other side of the door and bounded in. Tears streaked his face as he realised he was too late.

Or was he? He strode over to her and saw faint breaths raising her chest up and down. He picked her up, and with a crystal, transported both of them to the hospital wing. The nurses all went straight to work and everyone was positive she would make a perfect recovery. Everyone that is, except for Jareth.

He was so sure she was dead. And to have thousands of people tell him everything was fine, it still didn't reassure him.

Sarah P.O.V

She had made it! To heaven. I open my eyes and take a look around. Yep, definitely. Everything I lay my eyes on is white. The floor, the roof, the furniture, heck, even what I'm wearing is white, a floor length robe that falls to the floor in a beautiful way.

"Hello, we have been expecting you for quite some time, Sarah Williams." Says a man's voice behind me.

I whirl around, and come face to face with hands down the most handsome guy I have ever met. Forget that, he is beautiful.

"I, um… am I you know, dead?" I ask, feeling extremely out of place next to him.

"You could be, or you could go back and join they man who loves you with all his heart?" he asks in a conversational manner.

"I, wait, WHAT? He hates me, detests me in a way I never thought possible!" I knew he was talking about Jareth here.

"You know he loves you deep down Sarah, you've seen all the secret glances he has given you, moments where you have suspected something, didn't you realise, that the whole time you were dying, Jareth was right outside your door, praying to me to let him in. he didn't eat, sleep or drink, being so worried about you Sarah. And you call that a man that detests you." He shakes his head.

I felt the pain before the tears came. I never knew what Jareth had done for me while I was dying, and now I was dead, and I would never get to thank him.

"So what happens now? Will I go to heaven?" I ask.

"Only if you wish it Sarah, as we speak, nurses are working around the clock making sure you pull through. If you choose to go to heaven, something will go terribly wrong, and Jareth will blame those poor ladies. And at 19, do you really want to die now? When you have your whole life ahead of you?" he inquired.

I had already made up my mind. I was going back. I really did want things to work out with Jareth now.

"Take me back now!" I cry. I wanted to go now. To apologise over and over again for how many times I've hurt Jareth.

"Very well then, I shall see you again, Sarah Williams, with grey hair and a wrinkly grin, only then shall we know each other properly. Farewell, may you live a life of happiness." He kissed my cheek, and then I felt myself slipping away.

Next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to a hospital room. I took a look around. It was empty. The only occupied chair was that of Jareth. I find myself up out of bed and walking towards him. He looks so peaceful, but not as young as I once thought. These few weeks must have been weary for him, and it looks like he hasn't slept in a week.

Suddenly, he jumps up out of his chair, and seeing me standing, staring at him, he shouts "SARAH!" and goes to hug me. It hurts, a lot. He is so strong. And my weak body can't take it. "Jareth, please let go!" I cry, I try to stop the tears, but the pain is unbearable.

He soon realises his mistake, and gently picks me up and carries me back over to the bed. He calls for the nurses and goes to leave.

"Please stay Jareth! Please!" I sob. I don't want him to leave me here, not with these strangers.

He sighs and makes his way to my bed. I grab his hand and pull it to my chest. I need comfort from him. I had my mother when I was younger, but now there was no one but him to turn to. He sits down beside me and stokes my hair in a caring gesture. It soothes me. I feel myself slipping into a hazy grey sleep, probably from the morphine the nurse has slid into my arm. I don't want to go to sleep. Because I am scared, of the hazy world that morphine places you in. You go looking for your loved ones, but they are never in reach.

Right before I take the boat out to the next world, I whisper "thank-you Jareth, so much."

Jareth P.O.V

I watched as she slept. Only moments before the nurse, Elena, if I recall, had slid the sedation needle into her arm. The pain was too much for her. But right before she slipped out of his grasp, she had thanked him. For what? He had just hurt her body, and she had thanked him. "She has probably had a few rough days, her head mustn't be in the right place at the moment. " He thought to himself as he stared at her.

He would win her over before the month was out. He loved her so much, if she didn't love him before then, he would let her go, just like that. Boy she had a hold on him, only just the other week he had told her she would never leave.

She looked so pale, almost sick. And it was him who did that to her. He stole her from those she loved, just because he was a selfish ignorant man who had a cold heart. Not so much anymore now though, his heart was warmed when Sarah rolled over and cried out for him. Even though she was sleep talking, it touched his heart.


End file.
